abigail414's diaryland diary
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In Memory of Lola
Lola died last week. She was 11 years old, and spent her last 4 years with me. I got her the first year of clinics in vet school, when she was brought in for euthanasia because of seizures. One of my classmates sent out an SOS for someone to adopt her and I did. Unfortunately, the drug used to control her seizures eventually caused her liver to fail.
I never knew Lola as a �normal� dog. I suspect she had some kind of head trauma that elicited the seizures, or had brain damage from them. She was never very responsive or devoted like a regular dog, but was sweet and kind and would never hurt a soul. Even on medication, she had a seizure every few months, usually in the middle of the night. I would have liked to have known the pre-seizure Lola. All I know is that she was once a mama, and her owners didn�t want to deal with twice daily medication.
What did Lola like? Before she felt ill, she liked to walk off leash. She had perfect, albeit somewhat indifferent, manners. When a leash was snapped on she would shuffle along as if being punished. She seldom got to go off-leash once we moved here � too many people with too many rules, but in Michigan, she loved to wander the woods and smell things and go at her own pace but always nearby. She would slowly sit, stay, or come, but she could dance and sing. She would move back and forth and bark if I sang �Do a Little Dance, Make a Little Love, Get Down Tonight�. Her motivation was food, which she loved the most. She was a serious scrounger and taught me what dog-proofing a house was all about � her favorite indiscretions were trash, cat food, and cat poop. She would go to the door and bark to go outside, just so she could get a treat upon return. She also loved to lie in the sun, and preferred the couch to a dog bed - I would come home to find her sprawled out and looking up casually as if to say �oh, it�s you�. As of late, she couldn�t get up on the couch, so the past few nights I would bring her up with me and scratch her belly, which was another favorite.
Lola started declining after I moved out here to CA. Besides being allergic to the area, she started to wax and wane in appetite and attitude, drinking huge amounts of water, and urinating indiscriminately. The ultrasonographer said she had very little functional liver left and gave her a couple weeks (she made it a couple more months). Eventually, her skin started sloughing off around her feet due to lack of liver function, and made it hard to walk. I soaked them and put medicated cream on them and gave her antibiotics and lots of love and she would rally but it would return. When it got so that she wouldn�t even walk out onto the grass to urinate, I knew her quality of life was marginal.
So, last Wednesday, Lola had a bunch of turkey breast deli meat for lunch, then went to work with me � hanging out in the back of the car for the afternoon. She liked the car, and it was pleasant and warm and she was comfortable. Nelly was in the clinic, which she enjoys so she can bark at all the other dogs. After my last client, I went out and sedated her, then sat and fed her � a bottle of treats as she slowly got mellow. Eventually she sighed, and rested her head. One of my favorite assistants provided the lethal injection while I petted her and sang �Do a Little Dance�.
I brought Nelly out to see her afterwards. Like most dogs, she didn�t want to look at her or pay attention to her - it is as if death scares them. But I think it helps them not look around the house for their buddy. Nelly's not afraid to ride in the car, so I don�t think she�s been scarred for life. In fact, she seems very happy being the only dog now.
It is weirdly empty without Lola. For a dog who wasn�t totally present, she held down a big presence. People say �she�s in a better place� and I think 'you mean the bottom of the freezer at work?�. Perhaps there is a big dog soul somewhere that they all return to, but then again, they are so fully alive while here that maybe this is all there is for them. What I do know is that Lola was a good, kind dog; we loved each other the best we could; and I'll hold her close in my heart as a gentle soul who shared part of her short life with me.
Rest in peace, sweet Lola - July 1996 to February 2007
3:34 p.m. - 2007-02-04
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