abigail414's diaryland diary
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Borderline Personality Disorder?
After a month with my talk therapist, he thinks I may have Borderline Personality Disorder. He agrees with my drug psychiatrist that there is a possible bipolar component, but being borderline is what makes me feel the most crazy. Having 5 of 9 DSM criteria qualifies you as borderline and I have 8. Fuck. Excuse the French, but I could almost handle being bipolar. A lot of creative people are bipolar. But a borderline bitch?
My last ex was involved with a borderline Aries before me, and managed to abandon his pscyhologist license, his sobriety, his marriage, and then ran off to Hawaii to escape her death threats. Yes, I think he has many of the borderline criteria, and it was probably not a coincidence that he sought out another borderline Aries to 'wreak havoc upon his life'.
According to the NIMH "Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women. There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases. Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations. Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives." (Looks like I may have graduated from my old 'anxiety-based chronic depression' days.)
My therapist assures me that I have a mild to moderate case since I currently lead a productive life (except in relationships). He also said it meant we have a lot of work to do (including homework and childhood BS), that the meds I'm on for bipolar also help with borderline, and to not get too wrapped up in the diagnosis. I think it would be far easier to simply wear a 'CAUTION - 301.83 CRAZY PERSON' sticker on my forehead and move on. In Palm Springs, CA, a store specializing in stickers for particular psychological disorders would do well.
Here's the diagnostic criteria for 301.83 Borderline Personality Disorder - most of my romantic partners (except HB, who continues to be a mystery) qualify. Take the test, maybe you're a member of the club too!
1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
7) chronic feelings of emptiness
8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
Bye for now - time to go to work and be a productive member of society.
7:00 am - 2007-05-25
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