abigail414's diaryland diary
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Heart of Stone
It was a typical busy Friday, with puppy vaccines and sick pets and skin and butt issues and of course the everpresent diarrhea. My 5 pm (last) appointment was a 2 month old Chihuahua that was not eating, with diarrhea, vomiting, and lethargy. When I worked in Michigan, I never saw Chihuahuas. I saw Labrador Retrievers. But Chihuahuas are very popular here, especially among the Hispanic population. And, this was an unvaccinated puppy owned by Hispanics. When I worked in Michigan, I never saw Parvovirus - maybe once when I was in Ann Arbor and it was a Detroit pit bull. It is easily prevented with an effective series of vaccines, and it is highly contagious and fairly deadly if you don�t vaccinate. There is also an accurate test for the virus, and Chica the Chihuahua had it. She also had a nine year old girl clutching her tightly and sobbing when she found out that her mother didn�t have the money to treat her puppy (so she would be put down).
I left the room with tears welling up in my eyes. The look on that little girl�s face was such heartfelt grief and pleading � please don�t kill my puppy. So, for tonight, I didn�t. It was after hours and I gave stuff away. Liquid antibiotics I had bootlegged from Mexico, leftover sterile fluids, recently expired injectable antibiotics that we couldn�t legally sell, a few antispasmodic pills. I treated Chica as well as showed her owner how to do it - she doesn�t have a good prognosis, but I tried and she has a chance. I�ll call tomorrow and see how she did. She growled at me in the exam room which is a good sign - sometimes these Parvo Chihuahuas come in so dehydrated and cold that they already look dead.
One of the things I learned from my brief liaison with the Jewish psychiatrist is that there is a correlation between having a loved one die traumatically between the ages of 8 and 11, and going into the medical profession. I looked at that little girl, and as much as I don�t like kids, I didn�t want this to happen to her. It totally changed my life when it happened to me. Instead of my father running out with a hammer to kill my dog that had just been hit by a car when I was 11, I wanted her to see someone in �authority�, in a white coat, try to save her puppy so she could snuggle with her in bed for years to come. Yes, Chica had a bad life until her owners adopted her last week, but the little girl mattered to me more, which was surprising.
The late assistant at work joked that �underneath your cold exterior beats a heart of stone�. He knows I�m actually a mush who works to detach and deal with things in a businesslike matter - we are a corporation and not a charity. But the idea of wresting a puppy from a sobbing child�s arms and taking it to the back to kill it without a fight was too much after a long day. And she was a mature little girl. She said she wanted what was best for Chica. I said I wanted to give her a chance, that there are no guarantees that something will live or die and all we can do is try. I�m saying a prayer for her tonight that she beats the odds and pulls through.
9:26 p.m. - 2007-03-09
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