abigail414's diaryland diary
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Slightly Tetched
I logged onto weather.com and saw that Michigan, my home state of 20 years is 9 degrees while Palm Springs is 80 degrees. For some reason, I started laughing like a maniacal crazy person - not �at� Michigan, but at how it used to seem normal to bundle up in fleece and trudge through slush for months on end. In truth, there is no normal, it is all a perspective. Of course, in July, I will again wonder what lunacy drove me to the desert to have a front row seat for global warming.
I continue to worry about staying centered because I am doing soooo much � working, making house repair decisions, dating, and am now attending the �world�s largest veterinary conference� in Las Vegas. (There are 14,000 vets here at the Mandalay Bay Hotel). Plus, I recently found out that I had not one but two �crazy uncles� on my mom�s side. I knew about the guy who fell off a wagon and hurt his head and was never the same, but now there�s Uncle Otto, who ended up institutionalized and laughing a lot � he just snapped after having a particularly difficult job. My mother also had two very depressed sisters who died fairly young and my father�s side is seriously inbred with ADD. Sometimes I feel like I�m swimming upstream when it comes to genetic psychological health. I�m learning that when I start to feel like I�m spinning out, do some yoga poses - they don�t cure the spinout, but they help me breathe a little more deeply
After so many years of no V-day romance, or perfunctory dinners with a spouse who would rather watch TV over my shoulder, I sat in a romantic corner of a lovely restaurant with a handsome man and had moments of intense meaningful looks and smiles and intimacies as if no one else on earth existed. No, we weren�t in the thralls of love � HB had the remote control to the wireless sexual device I was wearing. Forget chocolate or flowers, this is the best VD present. Technology and sex is something I haven�t spent a lot of time exploring, whereas he investigated thousands of sex toys as set decorator for �Back to the Future: Part II� (Biff�s World). After dinner, we had a low-tech sleepover at my place on new sheets, and this time I snuggled without feeling a sob well up inside. Mamakitty also declared him acceptable by climbing onto his chest, purring in his face, then settling between his legs.
We�ve had a couple good talks and another sleepover, and at times I think this may be growing into more than a �friends with benefits� thing - but am keeping in mind that it is our first attempt at a relationship since our marriages ended, so this could just be a delicious rebound. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall, for the 'but' when he tells me how much he enjoys my company (bad habit of expecting rejection). Truth is, we're both still seeing others 'but not as seriously' - the Jewish doctor from last week was sweet, smitten, but I was not, and Gwen's friend Daniel continues to make dates that he cancels and I'm ambivalent. Whatever is going on, people at yoga and at work have commented on how much more relaxed I am, so I think it�s doing some good.
At work, I�ve been making some strides. I took in a cat with a blocked penis and unblocked it during lunch � it was a life-threatening emergency and I did it just fine. I also lanced and installed a drain in a nasty dog abscess, something I usually pass off to a surgeon. Then there was goodbye to Nancy, a sweet Chow who I diagnosed with cancer last August - she made it 6 months with steroids, but had stopped eating and was obviously uncomfortable. And, a non-goodbye to Tiger, a kidney failure/diabetic cat who was in crisis and the owners came in to euthanize, but turns out he had a fever and possible infection so got antibiotics and bloodwork instead. And the sick black lab from Oregon who was visiting the area after spending time at a referral service back home - we did some follow-up diagnostics and treatment and I had a good talk with their board-certified internist, who expressed supreme confidence in me because I made good observations and suggestions. The owners were flying back to Oregon in a few days, and when I said I didn�t think Malinka could handle being in cargo the owner looked at me and said �oh, no, it�s a private jet and she�ll be at my feet�. This was � hour before I called a client with an ill dog and found out it was doing much better since blocking off the area of the house where the rats came in. Nice.
There was a fun work/romance collision on Sunday. HB is having orthopedic foot surgery this week, and just wanted to hang out with me while he was ambulatory, including going to work where I checked on two blocked cats (squeezed the piss out of them to be sure they were'nt re-blocking) and made some phone calls. On my last call, the client asked me out. HB was standing right there and I said something about being flattered, but that �I was seeing someone� (I wasn�t interested in him anyway). The client said �lucky guy� and I said �yes, he is a lucky guy and is standing right here�. It was a very weird coincidence.
Well, I have the next three days to soak up as much veterinary information as I can and go back home (one gas tank away) more confident and capable. I love this profession. There�s always something to learn - over 900 seminars to choose from. And, I discovered that there is an association of media veterinarians, which I think is what I�d 'really' like to be when I grow up.
10:46 p.m. - 2007-02-19
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