abigail414's diaryland diary
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Seduced by Citrus
Yes, this is me holding a grapefruit by the pool at my future home. The farmer in me won out over the witch. So what if the garage is haunted by the guy who killed himself there 2 1/2 years ago? There is a veritable citrus orchard in the backyard - delicious grapefruits, lemons, oranges, and tangerines are dripping off the trees. Plus it has mountain views, about 8 huge (over 50 foot) palm trees, the courtyard entrance is covered with sweet pea vines (!?), the walkway is lined with lavender, and there is a producing olive tree in the front. How could such an effusive vegetative eden in the desert be bad?
I appreciate everyone�s input, and initially decided against the house. It was reassuring to know that I�m not the only person who would pause about buying a house with a suicide history. If the garage is haunted, it isn't a particularly malevolent spirit, and it seems to want me to live there (to suck my soul in my sleep, or just to have company - time will tell). I think the bedroom needs some energy clearing but the rest of the house is neutral. This was courtesy of my wiccan pendulum and my dogs and intuition. I also checked with the neighbors across the street, who looked like Michiganians (lived here 38 years), and said the man who died had been a quiet and private renter for about 6 months, then they said in a whisper 'he was sick, and it may have been AIDS�. At least he wasn�t a raging psychopath who killed his family and then himself. Hugh my hypnotherapist (who apparently deals with spirits on a daily basis) said that everywhere is haunted, even new houses � he offered to help me clear it. (Coincidentially, my yoga center is having a dedication of the dead the beginning of December, and a visiting hare krishna spiritualist is available for exorcisims). As usual, Randy, my RE agent had the best comment, �well, a suicide doesn�t bother me near as much as this carpet�.
The reversal in my decision was precipitated by realizing yesterday that I was tired of living scared. I recently changed my cell phone number because of a possible internet personals stalker, worry constantly at work about making a mistake, avoid intimacy because I am afraid of being found out as defective, and am now running from ghosts. I�m just going to make the best of what I can, regardless of rune readings, dreams, whatever. If I make my decision on what feels good, I�ll be better able to live with the consequences. And it feels good to be in that neighborhood, location, yard, and most of the house.
I�ll be meeting my friend Bob from Michigan there on Sunday to look at how much work he can do on it (did I mention it has tacky carpet and 40 year old kitchen and bathrooms?) � oh, but such a lovely setting. Every place I�ve bought has been due to the setting, and this one is no exception. And, maybe they�ve all been haunted and this is the first time I�ll know about it up front.
4:26 p.m. - 2006-11-17
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