abigail414's diaryland diary
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La-te-fucking-da
After spending too much time in Target today (trying to replace a small appliance that broke), it struck me that we are indeed facing the apocalypse (or perhaps a dress rehearsal). I get that reaction every time I visit a big-box store, see my fellow consumers, and view the excess of crap on the shelves that will most likely end up in a landfill in six months. Aggh. When combined with the unrelenting heat, it gives one reason for reflection on the state of the planet.
So, tonight I finally watched �Fast Times at Ridgemont High�. No, I didn�t go to high school in the 80�s - went in the early 70�s when the music and clothes were better (and bought used at swap meets). But my high school was near the beach and full of surfer dudes like Spicoli (Sean Penn character) who said 'gnarly' and 'righteous' as well as teenaged girls whose lives revolved around whether a guy liked her or not.
These are some of them from over 30 years ago - wonder what they're doing today?
So many things happened in high school that were in that movie � maybe everyone felt that way and is the reason the picture achieved cult status. Or just a southern California thing. A few months ago I wrote an angst-ridden diary entry about high school, and I've been reaching some kind of peace with it. I regret that I spent much of it numb and scared and waiting for it to be over, when I could have had more fun. (I wasn't alone - some kids fervently believed that the 'rapture' was coming - to them, those were the 'end times'). I remember a certain heaviness about high school, and I muddled through like everyone else, suffered over my suffering as only a teenager can. I could have done better, but then I could have done worse - one of many rites of passage behind me.
We were all cranky in yoga class the other night due to the stifling heat and humidity ('hot as hell' is how the Sunday newspaper put it) - you could sense the chafing and little dramas and the waiting for it to be over - which may be months or never. Our teacher said her new attitude about it is �la-te-fucking-da� - a combination of 'let go and let god, and 'this too shall (hopefully) pass' - a mantra to use to move through life in this sauna with fluidity and grace and humor. That would have been real helpful in high school. Just like then, I may not like it, but am here. Now. At a pivotal time. Maybe the end times - or at least a signficant one, the only one we've got. So let's try to be 'present and accounted for' and lighten the load.
10 p.m. - 2006-07-26
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