abigail414's diaryland diary
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Mind Fullness
Things to be thankful for:
The 17th Annual Palm Springs International Film Festival starts this weekend. Check it out at www.psfilmfest.org There is a gala celebration with stars getting awards (Charlize Theron & Shirley Maclaine) and what looks like hundreds of movies (domestic, foreign, documentary, and of course an International Gay-la).
'Sam', my serious vomiting labrador that went to specialists in Orange county this weekend and got post-surgical pneumonia got better and came back to us today. He is home tonight but back tomorrow and our job is to keep him alive until biopsy results are back.
They really like me at work. My personality fits in well with my coworkers, even under stress, and the clients/owners seem to love me. I'm cutting my days back to 4 per week (rather than 4 and 5 alternating) because they are so long and stressful and burnout looks imminent.
It was stunningly clear and beautiful today. Yes, I was inside most of the day, but my lunch break was breathtaking, with snow on the mountains, 72 degrees, blue skies, palm trees, gentle breeze, whoa.
I love my car. It has been a long time since a car I owned made me smile when I saw it. Practical but cushy in its own 19% Swedish/16% Belgian way (where is the rest of it from?). Also, it is ultra low emissions and transforms ozone into oxygen as I drive it.
I came home and heard from friends via phone, e:mail, and snailmail! Just when I was starting to feel lonely in a new community, with no energy or time to go out and make new connections - it felt good to know I was thought of.
And, I bought some delicious 59 cent avocados tonight - ate a whole one mashed up with salt on rice crackers. Damn it was good.
You're probably wondering why the gratitude list? I try to do this when I'm feeling down. It was a very hard and long day at work, lots of tough cases, everyone feeling overloaded. At about 5:15 pm, with 4 sick cases going at once (including a post-surgical dog in shock), I felt like running out of the clinic screaming. Instead, I took some deep breaths, a colleague took a case for me, I focused on one thing at a time and made it through. (Granted, it wasn't as fun as screaming & running, but I still have a job tomorrow).
I think there is a fine art of being very focused while also multi-tasking at the same time - a kind of extreme mindfulness. I see it done, and know that is what I need to do, but don't quite have it down yet. Plus, I have to remember there is a steep learning curve at any new job, so it should get better over time. As Scarlett O'Hara said - tomorrow is another day.
9:38 p.m. - 2006-01-03
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