abigail414's diaryland diary
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About Sex
THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUAL SCENES AND GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS
Been thinking about sex lately, thanks to hormone supplements, yoga, losing weight, and all the palm trees having sex around here. Like the ones in the above picture. You may ask, what is the �sex� in the picture? It is the flowering brown stuff. The ones below are no longer having sex. They have been pruned.
For an area so tolerant of sexual choices, there is very little tolerance of the mess of palm tree sex here in Palm Springs, CA - too much flotsam and jetsam in the pools. A future post may show you all the different types of palm trees and pruning jobs, and how they look if left unpruned - but for now, I�ll stick to sex.
The other day I was talking with Oola about some sexual secrets I learned in vet school and she was amazed � so thought I�d share with the rest of you. First of all, the picture below is a common sexual experience for many stallions.
This hot-blooded Arabian is happily humping a 'dummy mare' so his semen can be collected, frozen, and shipped all over the world. He is trained to do this with an equine porn star known as a �teaser mare� (in heat) � she is paraded before him and her urine is sprayed on the dummy. Like a guy in a titty bar, his little head (actually, not so little, about 18 inches long) starts to tell him to jump that thing. The helmeted person hovers beneath this testosterone-crazed behemoth and puts his penis into an artificial vaginal (a very clever device, including water heated to the body temperature of a mare). Then she attempts to meet his thrusts and stimulate him to ejaculation. Once he figures out how good that dummy mare is, he will eventually just get an erection when he sees it � much like an adolescent boy when he sees a school bus with cheerleaders.
As for mares, the inseminator (human or live stallion) needs to wait for the specific window when she is in heat. Mares give very clear signals, and a �teaser stallion� is used to elicit them. An un-receptive mare will hold her ears back, clamp her tail down, and kick at the stallion as he approaches � a kind of 'get away you stupid brute and take your big schlong with you�. As the mare becomes receptive (meaning she is fertile, not that she has had a few drinks), her behavior mellows, and when she gets a whiff of stallion, takes on a �come hither� stance � holding her head down with ears at half mast, legs planted open, tail to the side, clitoris �winking�. If that doesn�t get his attention, she may then urinate, which for some reason is a total turn-on for a stallion. A breeder would say the mare below is feeling pretty slutty (the technical term for her position is �lordosis�).
I was so fascinated with this little dance, and that horses come into season with the equinoxes, that I made some horse statues in the various poses while in school. I considered going into the field of equine theriogenology, but decided against it when I realized large animal work includes an awful lot of what I was doing below.
Cows are accustomed to rectal exams, but I never did like doing them � especially the part where they continue to defecate while you�re probing around. Dairy cows are kept pregnant most of the time, meaning it is important to know when they are fertile so you can get them bred. They don't do the same blatant happy dance as horses, and hundreds of cows are pregnant at a time, so it is more efficient for some poor vet to put his/her arm up the cow�s rectum and feel around for the state of the ovaries and uterus. A month after a cow is inseminated, they have another rectal exam to be sure they �took'. When a cow �freshens� (aka give birth), the calf is whisked away so humans can drink its milk for about the next 6 months, during which time the cow is re-bred to get pregnant and start all over again.
Oh, you thought maybe I would write about human sex? Well - my mother reads this! Perhaps some other time ;)
8:15 p.m. - 2006-07-09
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